Kind of sad...

Tonight is the first night ever in Leah's entire life I haven't nursed her to sleep.  She didn't refuse it, but didn't want it either.. if that makes any sense.  She needed to lay down with me and put her cheeks against my chest, but she didn't nurse, instead she sucked her thumb.  To be honest, I am sad.  My baby has nursed every single day since the day she was born.  I feel like I didn't really connect with her today, and I miss that.  The last few days she has nursed for very short periods of time (maybe 2 minutes or less), but still nursed.  It may sound silly to most people, but having that connection for 18 months is huge.  My goal, even if she doesn't want to continue to nurse, is to pump for her every day so she can still have all the benefits of nursing.  She has this thing, where she likes Mercola's protein shakes.. silly, I know!  I think I can disguise breast milk in her favorite banana or strawberry shake instead of using water.  That will at least help me cope :)  This is not me giving up at all - I am going to offer her to nurse every day.  Maybe this was a fluke?  Whatever it may be, I have had a wonderful nursing relationship with my baby girl for 18 months and am so proud of that!

Now on a lighter note.... :)

I slept horribly last night!  Not only did the storm wake Leah up, but I had many other things keeping me awake!  I have been doing well at keeping myself hydrated, but it makes me have to use the restroom at least every 1-2 hours at night.  I am also starting to go to a chiropractor once a week to keep my hips aligned, and I was super sore from my adjustment on Friday.  Then, I must have been dreaming and thinking of my labor and delivery.  Ugh, I just about panicked when I realized I had to push him out.. ha!  I know it sounds so silly, but you know how many people say you will forget about the pain of childbirth???  I am NOT one of those lucky women.  I remember all too well how painful it can be!  Then, since Brayden is getting higher into my ribcage, I had a hard time breathing while laying down.  It must have been the position he was in, because once I sat up for about 20 minutes he moved and I could breathe better.  What a night!

Luckily, Leah took a 3 hour nap this afternoon.  I took full advantage of that and slept the entire 3 hours.  That made me feel so much better.

Leah had a blast at Grandpa and Grandma Carlson's house today.  Cavan and I have been doing this new thing where we take the golf cart up and down a long street near his parent's house.  Leah loves it!!!  It is so relaxing!  We just drive up and down about 3-5 times.  Leah normally starts off on Daddy's lap, then makes her way to the middle, and by the time we are finished she's snuggling with me.  She could do that for hours.  Cavan and I love it too.  We even got to take Grandpa and Emma for a ride today.  Leah thought that was great!  She is such a Grandpa's girl.  Every time we go over there she runs right to Grandpa and has to feed his fish.  She will sigh and say "fish" and then say "more" and sign "please"... she sure knows the right words to say!  How can you say no???  We had a great dinner and enjoyed time with Aunt Cassie, Uncle Bryan, and baby Aubrey.  Leah is getting much more comfortable with Aubrey.  She even helped Aunt Cassie wipe spit up off of Aubrey's cheeks.  She was so gentle too.  She was sharing toys with her as well and just about melted me.  She is so quiet and soft with Aubrey.  It makes me so excited to see how she is with Brayden.

Enjoy a few random pictures taken yesterday.  She's so much fun!!!

snuggling with Daddy in the morning

zoomies in the pool

Leah's classic, "what are you talking about??" face... LOVE IT!

cute little tushie

 She loves the pool with Daddy!